


Flight fright

by freesiafields



Series: Maycury Week 2020 [3]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Comfort, Fear of Flying, Flying, Gay Male Character, M/M, Panic, Panic Attacks, Phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26237821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freesiafields/pseuds/freesiafields
Summary: For their very first tour abroad, Freddie finds himself on a plane, for the first time in years, only he'd forgotten just how much he hated them. He can feel himself starting to have a panic attack but thankfully Brian's there with him and calms him down through the flight.
Relationships: Brian May/Freddie Mercury
Series: Maycury Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902772
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16
Collections: Maycury_Week_2020





	Flight fright

Freddie stepped inside the airport in London. Freddie knew this place very well. He worked here for a while after finishing his studies at Ealing Art College. He felt a heaviness in his chest as memories from this place flooded his thoughts. Yes, he used to work here, but as a baggage carrier. He didn't want to get on the plane at all. For Freddie, there was nothing scarier than the image of the solid ground disappearing beneath him. Queen was becoming more and more popular. Touring has become a more common thing now. Whenever he could, he preferred to travel by car or the tour bus. He never traveled alone either. It's something that followed him from early childhood and his trip far away from home. No force under the sun would make Freddie get on the plane again after he had experienced a severe panic attack on his trip to South Africa a few years ago.

Unfortunately for Freddie, they had to fly to America for Queen's first tour abroad. This time there was no way he could avoid it. If only he could fall asleep as soon as he gets on the plane. He tried to hide how nervous he was, as he was sitting in his seat by the window.

" _ Wonderful! They knew exactly which place to book for me _ ," Freddie thought to himself. Brian was sitting next to him, and John and Roger were sitting together somewhere in the front row. " _ Brian will think you're a coward. Little Freddie is afraid of flying, boo-hoo _ ," Freddie continued to think.

The flight attendant checked if everyone was buckled up and she started to explain how to use oxygen bags and what to do in the case of the emergency. Soon, the plane rose from the ground. Freddie's stomach twirled already. He closed his eyes and threw his head back on the headrest of his seat. " _ C'mon Freddie, sleep. Don't think about anything. Just sleep. _ "

Freddie's head was buzzing as if they had replaced his brain with a plane engine. " _ Don't let Brian notice anything. You're just fine… Nope, you're not fine. _ "

"Brian. Can we please switch seats?"

"Yeah, sure, Fred. Are you alright tho? You look kind of pale. A little too pale, if you ask me." Brian said, closing the book he was reading.

"Yeah, you know how much I hate sitting next to the window. It always makes me nauseous," Freddie said getting up to swap seats with Brian. However, as Freddie expected, it didn't help much. Sure, he wasn't looking out the window anymore but the panic gripped his throat more and more and his heart was pounding like that of a rabbit. He knew that it would stop when he lands and feels the solid ground beneath his feet. 

"Brian, are we almost there? I don't feel good," Freddie said in a shaky voice, realizing he no more had a reason to hide how he feels. It was obvious that he was in a state of distress.

Brian looked at his wristwatch and said they still had a good two hours of the trip. "What is wrong, Fred? Do you want to eat or drink anything? You are  _ very _ pale."

"Brian, I swear, if you make me drink or eat something I'll throw up all over you," Freddie said, shaking his head.

"Then, what's wrong?" Brian asked again, this time placing his hand on Freddie's forehead checking if he had a fever. That was a breaking point for Freddie.

He rose abruptly from his seat and looked around frantically for an exit sign. Brian saw that Freddie seemed quite confused, and was searching for something, so he jumped to help.

"Do you need to go to the toilet, Freddie? It's right there, on the left." Brian said, getting up from his seat and pointing to the toilet with his hand. He thought that Freddie was still feeling nauseous and he might vomit.

"I want to get out of here," Freddie said in one breath, still searching for the exit with his eyes, and was now spinning in circles around himself.

"What? Freddie, don't be silly! You can't get off a flying plane. You'd need a parachute for that," Brian said, trying to make Freddie laugh to distract him from whatever was bothering him. "Come back here and sit. C'mon, dear. We'll be off the plane soon." Brian slowly approached Freddie like he was approaching a wounded animal. He was scared as well. He never saw Freddie in such a condition. He didn't know how to react or how to help in a situation like this. Brian just let his instincts guide him through. He took Freddie's little hand in his and lowered him back into the empty seat next to his. Freddie was covered in a cold sweat, even tho, he was wearing a fur coat.

"Freddie, what's wrong? Talk to me."

"I want to get out of here, Brian," Freddie repeated.

"Yes, I heard that. Why on earth would you want that? What upset you so much? Aren't you looking forward to our tour in America? We'll live our dream, Freddie! Our first tour abroad, isn't it exciting?"

"I can't handle it. You know, flying by plane. What if we crash somewhere? If we disappear into the depths of the ocean. We won't even see America!" Freddie raised his voice. He curled up in his fur coat even more, as if he was trying to protect himself from that terrible thought.

At that moment, Brian understood what it was all about. It was a panic attack. Brian himself has had them several times so far. He went to therapies and learned how to control them. Now he will be in the position to teach Freddie a thing or two. He had to help Freddie to overcome his panic attacks. Freddie felt a need to escape from a situation he considered is potentially dangerous for him. Even if it was an irrational fear. That's why he asked to get off the plane. He wanted to escape. But you can't escape from a plane. Freddie had no choice but to face his fear.

"Slow down, Freddie. I promise you, we are not going to crash. Look. How often do you drive by car? Car crashes are happening every minute of every day, and still, you don't panic around and refuse to sit in a car. Nothing bad will happen. Only good things. Don't be scared," Brian tried to reason with Freddie. He hugged him and pressed Freddie's head against his chest. Brian tried to calm his own heartbeats, so they sounded soothing for Freddie. Hoping he will concentrate his mind on it. Brian knew how much Freddie liked physical contact, so he made calming circles with his hand on Freddie's back.

"How can you be so sure?" Freddie suddenly jumped from Brian's arms and looked him in the eyes. Freddie's doe-like eyes grew even bigger when he was scared. "Don't promise me things you can't fulfill! Who's going to take care of my cats?!" Tears were dwelling in Freddie's eyes.

At one point, Freddie felt so bad, that a dark veil was covering his eyes.

"It's okay, Freddie. Everything is going to be alright," Brian spoke softly and soothingly. His voice almost had a motherly tone in it. He was caressing Freddie's cheeks with both hands and was looking him in the eyes so his words sounded more believable.

Freddie was everything but alright. He shivered uncontrollably as large tears streamed down his cheeks. He saw nothing but darkness and heard nothing but his irregular heartbeat drumming in his ears. He looked around disoriented and sobbed so hard that he couldn't inhale the precious air at all. He tried to concentrate so hard on Brian's voice. On Brian's face. But it was all so blurry for him.

Freddie held Brian's hand tightly. Brian thought his hand, that was now purple, would fall off from how strong Freddie's grip was.

"Breathe. Breathe nice and even," Brian instructed Freddie. He breathed with him, trying to establish some rhythm that Freddie could catch and follow. Freddie tried to follow what Brian was telling him, but he couldn't make his lungs work.

"I can't ..." Freddie took one short, sharp breath. "I can't," Freddie shook his head, still having an awkward tightness in his chest.

"Of course you can, love. Watch how I do it, and you do the same," Brian said, pressing his forehead against Freddie's. "Breathe deeply. Like this." Brian took a deep breath through his nose. His chest was so inflated from so much air that he looked like a pigeon. "Then we count. One. Two. Three. Four. And we exhale. Nice and slow through our mouth. C'mon. Give me a nice deep breath. Let me see you. Want to do it together this time?"

Freddie nodded. He wiped the tears that had accumulated in his eyes with the palm of his hand. Tears blurred his vision and he wanted to look at Brian. He tried to inhale several times, but it was not deep enough. Brian was breathing properly all the time so that Freddie would not feel discouraged after the few failed attempts to catch some air.

"When I count to three, give me the deepest breath you can. Okay? Steady, baby. Let's try."

As Brian counted to three, Freddie managed to finally inhale the air that was now burning in his chest.

"That's right, baby. You're doing great. Hold it. Hold it. Remember to count.

" _ One. Two. Three. Four _ ," Freddie counted to himself, nodding unevenly. He had an impression like he was at the band rehearsal. It reminded him how Brian and Roger used to count the same way when they tried to catch the rhythm of a song. In front of him, Brian looked like he was imitating a beat of the guitar. Freddie was now breathing in and out more easily. It was so familiar to him now. All of a sudden everything seemed so clear. He was aware that he was safe. He couldn't be safer anywhere else than right here. Here, wrapped tightly in Brian's warm arms. Brian's hands were keeping him away from all the dangers of this world. So what if their plane crashes in the ocean? He would be happy even on the ocean's floor, as long as Brian was by his side.

Brian finally felt Freddie relax in his arms. How Freddie's breathing was now stable and calm. Freddie buried his head once again in Brian's chest. Brian ran his thin fingers through Freddie's long raven-black hair. Which happened to relax him even more.

"I'm sorry you had to see this," Freddie said softly without lifting his head from Brian's chest. "Thank you for being here for me."

"I'll always be here for you, love. And don't worry about it. We'll get through it together. You have to rest now. Lay like this for a little while. I like it. I like to feel you're close to me."

"I love you, darling."

"Love you too, sweetheart. You are alright. Try to rest a little bit. We will land soon." But Freddie kept his eyes wide open for the rest of the flight. Only when they landed, Freddie realized how exhausted he was. His head was heavy, and his legs were too weak for him to walk.

Fortunately, when they got off the plane, a car that was supposed to take them to their hotel was waiting for them. As he sat in the back seat, Freddie thought about everything he had been going through inside of his mind during the flight. After the panic attack was over, Freddie finally felt the peace and a sense of calm he had longed for. Now, when all that scary feeling was behind him, he just felt tired and sleepy. He rested his head on Brian's shoulder and fell asleep peacefully.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions or prompts within the Queen fandom please send them to me on my Tumblr: freesiafields.tumblr.com


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